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Valentine's Day Rant - Love Is A Verb

This candy, flower and jewelry marketing device called "Valentine's Day" probably causes more problems between people who really care for one another than it inspires togetherness and team work. So I don't waste a minute on it, and years ago confronted my Boo about the idiocy of judging her value to me by what I did on any particular day... especially the manufactured ones... cause birthdays are kind of special. And truth be told I am one of those brothers who deeply resents anyone telling me what to do and when to do it... especially for the woman I have loved for four decades now. Note that the highlighted phrase "I have loved" is an indication of my actions, not my feelings, because the only love that really counts is the action word that means "considering how your behavior impacts another person... before you do it."

"Loving" and being "in love (lust)" are not the same, the first being a commitment to another's well being and the second being a hormonal reaction to someone who is sexually attractive to you. Hey I like the "in love" part, but that is not what makes a great relationship, but it certainly helps us enjoy one. But even that happens more when the action of loving in involved in your decisions about dressing and grooming, choosing to be attractive to and for the one you love. So loving is really about the intentionality of having your actions and behaviors add to rather than detract from your lover's happiness and enjoyment of life. Its not living for another person, but considering another compatible human being as you pursue your own happiness. Compatible is a key word, because if your values and goals are not aligned you can be very much "in love" but will not be able to love one another because considering the other happiness will mean sacrificing your own.

So, I'm just saying, don't get it twisted and be careful of your choices, because you can be "in love" with a lot more people than you will be able to "love" an be happy doing so.