Truth doesn't change.
Over thirty years ago Lloyd Dennis, a brash but dedicated young husband, father and community activist began writing these insightful and entertaining columns about love, family living and community. They have been widely read and cherished ever since. He is still writing and his pieces, old or new are just as relevant... because the truth never changes.
Now that I have the responsibility and opportunity to be able to connect to thousands of people, I'm sharing a 45 minute video to help anyone who wants more and better in life, but can't figure out how to get more and better in life.
Called "The Legs of Success", My 45 min video isn't selling anyone anything except on themselves as their biggest opportunity for more and better. It isn't pushing any religion, no tapes, books... It is all about each person as the primary tool for making their life better. It took me twenty years to put this clear, step by step, simple but eye opening lesson together. I have been so blessed by the experiences and knowledge of others and I want to / need to bless others. Every two weeks I deliver this presentation to the incoming youth at the New Orleans Job Corps and they are so grateful for the clarity, focus and sense of purpose it organizes in their minds.
PLEASE SHARE THIS LINK WITH ANYONE WHO IS GOING NOWHERE FAST.
This candy, flower and jewelry marketing device called "Valentine's Day" probably causes more problems between people who really care for one another than it inspires togetherness and team work. So I don't waste a minute on it, and years ago confronted my Boo about the idiocy of judging her value to me by what I did on any particular day... especially the manufactured ones... cause birthdays are kind of special. And truth be told I am one of those brothers who deeply resents anyone telling me what to do and when to do it... especially for the woman I have loved for four decades now. Note that the highlighted phrase "I have loved" is an indication of my actions, not my feelings, because the only love that really counts is the action word that means "considering how your behavior impacts another person... before you do it."
"Loving" and being "in love (lust)" are not the same, the first being a commitment to another's well being and the second being a hormonal reaction to someone who is sexually attractive to you. Hey I like the "in love" part, but that is not what makes a great relationship, but it certainly helps us enjoy one. But even that happens more when the action of loving in involved in your decisions about dressing and grooming, choosing to be attractive to and for the one you love. So loving is really about the intentionality of having your actions and behaviors add to rather than detract from your lover's happiness and enjoyment of life. Its not living for another person, but considering another compatible human being as you pursue your own happiness. Compatible is a key word, because if your values and goals are not aligned you can be very much "in love" but will not be able to love one another because considering the other happiness will mean sacrificing your own.
So, I'm just saying, don't get it twisted and be careful of your choices, because you can be "in love" with a lot more people than you will be able to "love" an be happy doing so.
Last year I had a little boy describe his mother as a "trick".
Both he and I got upset. It seems that virtually all the drama in our community starts in bedrooms.
It is my hope that this piece will inspire new New Year's resolutions.
Woke me up with this anger.
Made me feel it, like its was me.
And it is me sometimes,
feeling for the little brother, bout to:
a. get kicked out of school
b. go to jail
c. kill somebody
cause somebody called his momma a “ho”,
and he knows it. So he wants to hurt somebody
Like he was hurt when he got slammed with ugly truth.
I'm angry because all I get to do for the little man
is challenge him to make sure his children don't have to deal with this,
be different , choose different... but without calling his momma a ho,
because she is still sacred to him... and to me,
a victim of the last cycle of she feel good rubbing against he feel good,
and creating a bad situation. Ho-ing cause it feels like love if your daddy didn't,
or you think you know better than God,
and some men getting so much easy feel good... milk's free, why buy the cow,
and some that would commit can't find un-ho's in which to invest their earnings, trust and seed.
Oh, yeah, and it ain't fair. So a man can make a baby every hour and it takes a woman almost a year. That ain't fair either, but that's the way God made it. Hell, up until medical test, a man could make a baby and not claim it, and that wasn't fair either.
Discerning ho's is a traditional man skill, Until DNA test the only thing assuring a man that the baby was his was to know he didn't have no ho. Momma's baby, daddy's maybe... every man's primal fear!
So, whether we like it or not, or fair or not, “ho” (whore) has always been a useful term for men, meaning “for recreational use only”. Responsible men who can pay child support generally avoid making babies with a ho cause then you have to marry her (and hire security) or pay for some other man/men to hit it... all around your child.
So it really doesn't matter how much money you make, how many degrees you have, whether you hang out in the club or in the church... if your bed warmer changes every few weeks, months or years, you are a ho, and if there's a kid, upstairs, across the hall or on the other side of the wall...... they know it.
What's interesting is that once you value yourself enough to require a commitment from a man, you ain't no ho no mo, and you just changed the game... cause only the men who stick and stay while you self respect are worth it, and if a dude can't afford his own place or a hotel...
Written with love,
Ok so the world is a place where lots of the people who really need information just don't read. So, I've decided that rather than curse the darkness, I'm going to try to light a candle... by any means necessary.
So, if video is the way people are getting information, the love doctor has to shift gears. So rather than repeat writings of the 600 columns I wrote, as the occasions arise, I'm going to create videos about the same lessons I wrote about for twenty five years which I learned from reading great books and by my experiences and watching other people succeed... or screw up their lives.
One of the central truths in my life is that I never met anyone who screwed up their lives on purpose. People who make bad choices generally don't know or understand something important, some really don't even know that they don't know because everyone around them is messing up the same way, so doing things that are screwing up your life feels like what you are supposed to do. So rather than judge people's state or reasons for not knowing, I prefer to teach.
So the video I'm featuring below came about at the end of a session while the camera was still rolling after I had handed out my books to a group of young people after a presentation. A young man took issue with a chapter in my Book His Way Works entitled "Spoil Your Dog Not Your Kids". Well, he asked... and boy did I answer.
Please share this with people you know need it. Here is the link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyxGI9nLpUE
If you know somebody who would benefit from this video they probably need the whole book...
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