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#4 - Ruined Men

Thank you! I appreciate all of the praise that you, my loyal readers, have given my Love Doctor column. I expected most of it but I am a bit surprised by the welcomed response by my male readers. Ladies there may be hope. There seems to be a greater number of sensitive, intelligent men than even I had anticipated.

Never let it be said the the Love Doctor is afraid to step on a few toes in the interest of truth and understanding. This week, some of the men who read the column will become upset as the Love Doctor attempts to help some confused and frustrated women who have fallen victim to a particular type of man.

Just the other day, a friend sought me out for advice in dealing with the man she was about to let into her life. Thank God she bumped into the Love Doctor when she did. I dread to think about the misery she would have endured had she not spoken to me. There are many who will benefit from this weeks column. Some of you have friends who need this information. Since friends often get upset when you get "into their business", you should simply mail this column to your girlfriends in an envelope, without a return address. In this way you will help your friend without hurting your friendship. Yes, The Love Doctor is brilliant

My friend began to explain, "There's this guy, about 35, good looking, always well dressed, good job and everything, but..."

The Love Doctor understood immediately, so I jumped in and finished her sentence, "... all he does is talk about himself, expects you to call him, and acts like his time is more important than yours." Quite naturally, my friend was shocked at my very accurate description of the man to whom she was attracted.
Ladies beware of the "Spoiled Rotten - My Stuff Don't Stink - You Lucky To Have Me - Dude". This type of man has become accustomed to dealing with women any way he wants to, and there is only a small hope that you will be any different. He has left behind a trail of messed up minds and lives. To him, women are things to be played with and enjoyed. For most women he is serious bad news. The strange thing is that most of them didn't mean to become this type of person. Women spoiled most of them, giving it up too easy.

Sex has become so easy to get for many of these fellows that, more often than not, it is not necessary to "treat her like a lady" to get what they want. There's a reason for this. Many women today attach so much importance to "having a man" that they put up with almost any kind of treatment just to be able to claim one. What's tragically funny is that in most of these cases, they "have a man" but are sharing him with one or two other ladies who are getting the same treatment.

Ladies, if you want to be treated decently, you must stop being pushovers. Understand this ladies: As a general rule, men only do what is required of them in order to get and keep the affection of women. So the brothers who have been getting over, treating women any kind of way, have become accustomed to doing very little in return for a woman's affection.

Now some of the ladies are getting mad at me, right. "Why's he blaming women for those no good men?"  I'm not blaming, I'm explaining. I am attempting to share knowledge about men that you need in order to deal with us successfully. For the entire history of humanity, men have chased women, not the other way around. Men fought battles over women, had duels over women. Men are at their best when they are trying to get a woman. Some call it the thrill of "the chase". Most men enjoy working hard to get something, look at the sports they invented for themselves to play. Ladies, all that I am trying to tell you is that if you are easy to get, to most men, you are not worth anything. These spoiled men have little if anything good to say about the women with whom they are "getting over". They will dog you out and talk about you like dogs. That's the way it is.

There is only one way to deal with one of these spoiled men. You have to make demands! Most of these men don't realize it, but they are seeking that one woman who they cannot abuse and misuse. Like I said, they don't realize it so they will become confused and goofy when they meet you and you act like you don't need anybody.

If you are already involved in a relationship with one of these men, I regret having to tell you that the only hope for you is to tell him to go to hell, understanding that you may loose him (like loosing cancer) and move on. There is a tiny chance that this will cause him to gain some respect for you and look at you in a different light, but if you take the guy back just because he says he'll change, you will be the fool.

 Words come easy for most men. What we say means little; it's what we do that shows how we feel. See if the man is willing to invest some time and effort in winning your heart. It may seem crazy, but the more a man does for a lady, the more he will appreciate her. That's the way our egos work. If we've done a lot to get something then it must be valuable, because we're too smart to do all that for nothing!
If someone mailed this column to you, don't get angry. You have at least one friend who wants you to open your eyes and see that you are a wonderful human being who deserves better than you are now getting.

If you feel like you are nothing without your man, you are sick sick sick! Get yourself together. Get a job; go back to school; do something you can feel good about on your own, sister. If you do, you will feel good about yourself and you will be surprised how much more respect you will get from everyone, including men.

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