Last year I had a little boy describe his mother as a "trick".
Both he and I got upset. It seems that virtually all the drama in our community starts in bedrooms.
It is my hope that this piece will inspire new New Year's resolutions.
Woke me up with this anger.
Made me feel it, like its was me.
And it is me sometimes,
feeling for the little brother, bout to:
a. get kicked out of school
b. go to jail
c. kill somebody
cause somebody called his momma a “ho”,
and he knows it. So he wants to hurt somebody
Like he was hurt when he got slammed with ugly truth.
I'm angry because all I get to do for the little man
is challenge him to make sure his children don't have to deal with this,
be different , choose different... but without calling his momma a ho,
because she is still sacred to him... and to me,
a victim of the last cycle of she feel good rubbing against he feel good,
and creating a bad situation. Ho-ing cause it feels like love if your daddy didn't,
or you think you know better than God,
and some men getting so much easy feel good... milk's free, why buy the cow,
and some that would commit can't find un-ho's in which to invest their earnings, trust and seed.
Oh, yeah, and it ain't fair. So a man can make a baby every hour and it takes a woman almost a year. That ain't fair either, but that's the way God made it. Hell, up until medical test, a man could make a baby and not claim it, and that wasn't fair either.
Discerning ho's is a traditional man skill, Until DNA test the only thing assuring a man that the baby was his was to know he didn't have no ho. Momma's baby, daddy's maybe... every man's primal fear!
So, whether we like it or not, or fair or not, “ho” (whore) has always been a useful term for men, meaning “for recreational use only”. Responsible men who can pay child support generally avoid making babies with a ho cause then you have to marry her (and hire security) or pay for some other man/men to hit it... all around your child.
So it really doesn't matter how much money you make, how many degrees you have, whether you hang out in the club or in the church... if your bed warmer changes every few weeks, months or years, you are a ho, and if there's a kid, upstairs, across the hall or on the other side of the wall...... they know it.
What's interesting is that once you value yourself enough to require a commitment from a man, you ain't no ho no mo, and you just changed the game... cause only the men who stick and stay while you self respect are worth it, and if a dude can't afford his own place or a hotel...
Written with love,